Civil Rights And Wrongs - Fair Housing Isn't Always Fair (Apartment Professional, March/April 2004)

Fair housing cases sometimes involve humorous, interesting and even bizarre situations

Having prosecuted fair housing cases for the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development for the past 13 years, I would be the first to tell you that housing discrimination is hardly a laughing matter. Between 1990 and 2003, I was involved in hundreds of complaints involving everything from simple apartment evictions to the attempted fire bombing of a house. And yet, of the thousands of complaints that are filed each year, a significant number turn out to be frivolous. In fact, many are absolutely ridiculous.

Many complainants are totally unable to understand the law's purpose. For example, one man filed a complaint against a real estate developer after he learned that some of his neighbors were African-Americans. Seems this man had requested only "white neighbors."

At other times, complainants severely overestimate the federal government's authority in these matters. Take, for instance, the ex-Marine who wanted HUD to sue the Department of Defense because he had been improperly discharged.

As elsewhere, marital discord seems to be a common theme in fair housing cases. One man told HUD that the Central Intelligence Agency had assisted his ex-wife in getting the marital dwelling in the divorce. Even worse, this particular ex-husband went on to say that that the CIA had been trying "to force me to change my political view . . . and become a Democrat."

Of course, such cases are not limited to disgruntled ex-husbands. In one case, a wife complained that she and her husband "are both mentally disabled, but my husband is more so than me." Isn't that always the case?

I've even encountered the Supernatural. One woman complained, "I have a ghost in my apartment...He is throwing stuff at us...I have not slept good in over 2 weeks...Please, can you do something?"

As most everyone knows, the usual targets of fair housing complaints are property owners, managers, agents, and the like, though not always. One woman claimed her eviction was "the devil's work." Needless to say, no one wanted to meet her landlord in person.

Speaking of the Supernatural, how about the man who was being evicted from his apartment because his neighbors complained he made too much noise. While our complainant -- he was 83 years old, by the way -- was eager to admit that he and his "girlfriend" did make noise when they were "amorous," he didn't feel they made enough noise to warrant eviction. We never found out how old his "girlfriend" was.

Some complaints sound more like soap operas than civil rights matters. We received a complaint from a man who claimed he had been discriminated against because of his religion, which he duly noted on the standard HUD form was "Gay Baptist." It turned out that in the middle of a "private prayer session," the man had been dragged from his house by the police and taken to jail for disturbing the peace. Did I mention he was naked at the time? Another complainant alleged he was being discriminated against because of his religion, which he noted was "Happiness."

So-called retirement communities have been especially fertile ground for complaints. During pretrial discovery in one case we learned that the minutes of one homeowners' association meeting reported: "Alligator in lake -- leave it alone. Baby in Section II." As far as we know, both the alligator and baby are still doing well. A condo president in another case answered a complaint by saying: "Because of the 'familial status gag rule,' this rental family now have [sic] chickens in their backyard. The park is zoned for people not farm animals." I still don't understand the connection between chickens and the Fair Housing Act.

Culinary concerns seem to bother others. "Civil rights" violations were alleged against one resident manager because, among other things, he wouldn't let his employees eat red beans and rice in the rental office.

Finally, a witness who had agreed to testify for the government, but who also wished to remain anonymous because she feared retaliation, insisted that we not use her real name. Instead, she instructed us to refer to her as "Bubblebutt."


Of course, for each of these amusing anecdotes, there are at least as many cases that deserve to be taken seriously and are taken seriously by HUD and other investigative agencies. But the next time you think you've "heard it all," think again.